这是一位留英回国的创业明达（笔名）女士所著作品，书中深入浅出地阐述了‘幸福’是什么？并带您去寻找幸福！明达女士在国外留学工作了十几年，去过很多国家，以她自身的经历、艰辛与感悟撰写了这部作品。
她曾说过现在的孩子不读书，不喜欢读书，这是一个很大的损失，不仅是对社会更是对自己。明达女士在新加坡学习时，曾经读过一层图书馆的书籍，可见她渊博的知识面与深厚的各领域功底。
本头条从今日起，将以中英文形式，连载转发明达女士的文章《了然自我》，带领广大读者走近明达女士的这本书中，去探索你生命的价值；陪伴你去找到幸福的；向你的人生目标前进……
——————编者
《了然自我》系列
（四）
部分二
1.了解自己
了解自己
许多人看到这个标题时都会觉得好笑。他们也许认为太滑稽了，谁自己不了解。我们问问自己，我们真的了解自己吗？
我们中有多少人真正地了解自己？
佛教讲我们的本性是智慧、爱和快乐。关键是自我领悟。我们需要真实地理解自我，清楚地了解自我，然后是面对自我。过程是艰难和痛苦的。如果我们能做到佛的境界，我们就会找到真正的幸福快乐。
请回答下面的问题去帮助你了解自己。在回答问题的过程中，你也许会感到受到了伤害；也许会感到心痛；也许会感到恐惧。然而，你一定要坚信，结果你会感到好极了。
实践题：
1.你最想做什么？如果你为之努力，现在会怎么样？你愿意去做
我想要去做…
2.你为什么认为你自己不能做？
3.当你回答上面的问题时，你感到受到伤害了吗？为什么？
4.你感到恐惧了吗？为什么？
5.你感到心痛了吗？为什么？
如果你不能再思考了，请写下来。当你清楚地把自己的想法写在纸上时，你会感觉好多了。
请反复问自己，并回答这些问题：我感到受到伤害了吗？ 你仍然感到恐惧吗？我还感到心痛吗？如果是，为什么？把答案写在纸上。反复问自己这三个问题，直到你的回答都为“没有”为止。
为什么你最终会回答“没有”？原因是通过纸上的答案你更清楚地看到了你自己。
是的，那就是你。在纸上的你是你自己写下来的。现在，我认为你会笑话自己“为什么以前我没有做这件事？为什么以前我不能面对自己？”
现在，你应该比以前更坚强去追求自己的幸福。
面对恐惧，面对自己
许多人虽能了解自己，但却不能真正地面对自己？
是的。我们中的一些人了解自己，但是不能承认自己藏在自己内心打造的壳内。我们害怕走出来，并暴露出自己的风采。我们不能面对我们自己；我们没有勇气去承认这些事实。
我们迷茫；我们内心充满冲突；我们被痛苦折磨着。我的一位朋友对我说：“有时我感到完全的与外界隔绝，或我很想将自己与环境隔离。” 为什么？恐惧是我们生命中最大的敌人。在行动前，我们都会恐惧。然而，大多时候我们不知道自己恐惧什么。
恐惧来自于你的内心。恐惧在你的骨头里；在你的心里；在你的灵魂中。你甚至不能想它，因为你会感到毛骨悚然。你异常紧张；你全身的肌肉都变得坚硬。于是，你全天候娱乐麻痹自己。时间飞逝，你感到更加糟糕。你需要做的唯一事情是停止这恶性循环，去建立良性循环。你会感觉越来越好；你会更加自信。自信会让你打开心灵去面对世界。你会感到空气更加清新。
当你不再恐惧时，你将能面对你自己。
更加了解自己
在我们的生活中，有些人总是问你在做什么呢？接着就说“嗨，我也应该做的。今天我也就会和你一样成功。”这种人通常都不了解自己。他们不能了解成功的过程。这些人仅仅看到成功的结果，而不知道成功的背后的汗水、泪水和辛酸。
获得幸福的前提是了解自己，面对自己，知道自己在生活中真正要什么。
曾经的一段经历给了我一些启示。一次我借了一本书，书中讲的是一个成功咨询顾问的故事。读了一部分，总感到对内容很熟悉。书读到最后，才确认大学期间曾读过这本书。四年已经过去了。这次的阅读效果大不同于上次。四年前，我仅仅是读了书。随着生活阅历的增长和工作经验的积累，我是读懂了这本书。因为我知道了我是谁和自己在生活中真正想要什么。虽然我走过了几年的历程。可这一路走来都是值得的。这个经历告诉我，生活永远都是有价值的。无论什么样的生活，是痛苦的或幸福的、是快乐的或不快乐的，都是有价值的。只不过有时我们需要时间来意识到生活的价值。
了解自己和面对自己也许需要很长的时间。在这个过程中，你能找到真正属于自己的幸福。
SECTION II
1. Know yourself
KNOW YOURSELF
Many people will laugh out when they see this title. They might think it is ridiculous. However, we can ask ourselves if we truly know ourselves.
How many people truly know themselves?
The Buddha taught that our essential nature is wise, loving and joyful. The key lies in self-awareness. We need to truly know ourselves or to know ourselves better, and then to face ourselves. It is hard and hurt in this process. We would gain skills to create our happiness if we could do it.
Please follow the below questions which will help you know yourself better. You may feel hurt; you may feel your heart is painful; you may feel fear. However, you need to believe you will feel better when you have done it.
Practical questions:
1. What do you mostly want to do? How would it be if you did something about it? Would you like to …
“I want to do… but I do not think I can make it.” This is good starting point at least you are brave enough to start your journey now.
2. Why do you think you cannot make the things happen?
3. Do you feel hurt? If yes, why?
4. Do you feel fear? If yes, why?
5. Do you feel painful in your heart? if yes, why?
If you cannot think any more, please write them down. You feel better when you see yourself clearly on the piece of paper.
Repeat the questions and ask yourself, Do I feel hurt now? Do I still feel fear? Do I still feel painful in my heart? if yes, why? Write your answer down on the same piece of paper. Repeat these three question to yourself till your answers are all ‘no’?
Why ‘no’? because you can see yourself clearly on the piece of paper. Is it hurt? Is it fear? Is it painful? No. You can shout to yourself “this is me! This is myself!”
Yes, it is you. It is yourself on that piece of paper which you wrote yourself on. Now, I do believe you may laugh out yourself “why I could not do it before? Why I could not face myself before?”
Now, you should know you are stronger to create your own happiness than before.
Face fear and face yourself
How many people can truly face themselves though they know themselves?
Yes. Some of us know ourselves but we dare not admit ourselves who is hiding in our own shell. We fear to go out of it and show our true colour. We could not face ourselves; we have no encouragement to admitting the facts about ourselves.
We confused; we feel conflict inside; we suffered. One of my friends said to me before, “sometimes I feel totally shut, or I would be willing to shut down myself.” Why? Fear is the main enemy of our life. We all fear something before we act. However, in most time we do not know what we fear.
The fear is from inner you. It is in your bone; it is in your heart; it is in your soul. You feel thrilling even you cannot think a bit. You feel extremely nervous; you feel all muscles of your body are in very tense. So you try to entertainment yourself to fulfill your time and do not want to think about it. As time is flying, you feel worse than ever. The only thing you need to do is to stop the bad circle and build a new smooth circle. You will feel better and better; you will fell you become more confident for yourself, and more confident to open your heart to the world. Then you can breathe in fresh air.
You can face yourself when you leave your fear behind.
Know yourself better
In our life, some one always asked what you were doing. And then they said “oh, I should do it too. Then I will be like you and be more successful”. These kinds of person normally do not know themselves. They did not what characters drive to this stage. They only put their eyes in the successful results and do not notice factors behind the success.
The requisition to gain happiness is to know yourself, to face yourself, to know yourself better and to know what you truly want in your life.
I had an experience which showed me something value. Once I borrowed one book, which is to talk about the successful consultant, in the library. However, I just feel I am familiar with this book. It seemed I read it before. Finally, I recalled I did read it before when I was in university. It was four years ago. The result is very different when I read it. It is right time to read now because I got more experiences from my life and work. I knew I only skimmed this book four years ago. It seemed good book but it is not right time for me. Four years later, I knew who I am and what I truly want in my life even I have been taking a long way to come here. It is worth. So life never is not worth anything. Life is worth something for you. It just takes some time to make you realize the value is there for you.
It might be a long way to know yourself, to know yourself better and to face yourself. In this process, you can create your own happiness in your life.
作者：明达
